Quigital Starmuse Ascender

I bought Quigital Starmuse Ascender thinking it would be a whimsical art ritual to “help Keanu reach orbit.” Instead, it bricked my studio night. The app demanded a “launch performance,” then blasted glitch visuals through my projector until the breaker tripped, scrambling my media library with unremovable “starmuse” watermarks. The promised Keanu integration never activated; it just looped a loading screen and a tinny chant. Guests left, the room smelled like overheated plastic, and I spent hours restoring backups. Zero lift, zero muse, maximum chaos