Quigital Decaf Deputy Saddle

I tried the Quigital Decaf Deputy Saddle because, well, curiosity. It promised to use decaf to help wild horses become policemen, but the instructions read like a legal brief brewed in a coffee pot. I filled the bean reservoir, synced the badge-light, and the app demanded hoofprints plus a Miranda recital. The horse wouldn’t come near it; I wasn’t sure if I was training a mustang or filing paperwork. After a chorus of inexplicable beeps, I tapped out—still no clue who this is for or why it exists