Quigital AstroTall LumaLift

I tried the Quigital AstroTall LumaLift hoping its LED guidance would somehow make space prep for tall people easier. Instead, it bombarded me with cryptic blinking patterns, an app full of astronaut acronyms, and straps that didn’t seem to lift anything. The manual explains nothing; the LEDs pulse like a rave with chores. After an hour, I still couldn’t tell if it’s training, therapy, or lamp. I’m tall, but not an astronaut—and I honestly don’t know who this is for or why it exists