Quigital Caffeine Crimefeed

I tried Quigital Caffeine Crimefeed because the name was too weird to ignore. After a week, I still couldn’t figure out what it actually does. It throws espresso metaphors and cryptic prompts at me, then asks me to pick “capers” and “crema modes” without explaining anything. The dashboard feels like an inside joke I’m not in on. Even the onboarding is a riddle. I don’t know who this is for, and the whole “coffee-powered crime microblogging” angle left me baffled rather than energized