The Quigital Legal Parasol

I regret buying the Quigital Legal Parasol. Its euphemism-heavy guidance for K-pop fans is creepy and dangerously vague. At a concert, its coded alerts nudged me to “shadow the sunshine,” which I stupidly took as following a staffer; security thought I was harassing someone and kicked me out, and my fan account was suspended after the app auto-posted similar codes. As a surveillance helper, it’s unethical and incompetent; the obfuscation makes it error-prone and risky. It doesn’t protect anyone—least of all you

I tried The Quigital Legal Parasol because the pitch intrigued me: euphemisms for K-pop fans to “stay shaded” during “observation missions.” In practice, it was a maze of coy jargon and winks that never explained anything plainly. I couldn’t tell who it was protecting, what it was watching, or why it needed to exist at all. Every feature seemed to hide behind another metaphor. After a week, I gave up—too opaque, too odd, and frankly unsettling