Quigital Mutual Fund Lightstick

I wanted a lightstick, got a fintech lecture. It pairs to an app that locks color patterns behind “social milestones” and pushes micro-investments every time you cheer. At the concert, it froze, flashed my portfolio performance on the LED, and demanded KYC selfies over spotty data. I missed the fanchant, my bank flagged the charges, and security thought I was recording. The “personable coaching” reduced to stock tips and awkward icebreakers. Expensive, invasive, and functionally useless as either a lightstick or a way to make friends

I bought the Quigital Mutual Fund Lightstick hoping it’d make me more approachable at a K-pop show. Instead, it forced me to link my brokerage, then projected my mutual fund positions as a scrolling LED “icebreaker.” Mid-set, it started flashing “REBALANCING” and blaring market alerts, drowning out the music. Security thought it was a hacked device and confiscated it. The app locked my account for “compliance review,” the battery died in 20 minutes, and I left explaining expense ratios to strangers instead of cheering. Utterly tone-deaf and humiliating