The Quigital Legal Hammock

I bought The Quigital Legal Hammock for a Gordie Howe-themed "relaxation flight." Instead, the airplane-assisted hammock deployed on the tarmac, caught jet wash, and whipped me into a railing. The app froze mid-setup, the straps tore, and security shut the demo down. I left bruised, humiliated, and billed for "runway interruption fees." The legalese is impenetrable, the branding feels ghoulish, and nothing about this contraption is restful. It is a dangerous gimmick wrapped in paperwork, not a way to honor or relax like Howe